Chimpanzebra

You say you can ride the chimpanzebra?
Sorry, kid, but I just don’t believe ya.
That beast is the buckin’est varmint around —
as soon as you mount him, your butt’s on the ground.

I know ‘cause I tried, and got kicked off so fast
that I landed right smack in a full-body cast.
He spun with a snort, threw a somersault punch,
then he dropkicked my grandma and gobbled my lunch.

That beast is too wild! You can’t win that battle
even if you invented a superglue saddle!
But you rode him, you say? And you did it with ease?
And all that it took was to say “pretty please”?

Moral:
THE WAY YOU TALK JUST MIGHT OPEN A LOCK
IF YOU USE THE KEY CALLED COURTESY

Excerpt from a children's book I'm trying to get off the ground.